“On making your first full-length, and how it breaks your heart”

Note: I wrote this to my high school friends’ (we call our group Bugsy) Facebook group page on one madaling araw of October 2011, days before I shot the awards night sequence, one of the most important scenes in my first full-length film. That scene was the film’s ending, and we had to simulate a…

Hypochondria?

Hypochondria ba yung sa sobrang pag-iisip mo sa sinusulat mong script e sumasakit na talaga ang ulo mo nang totoo? Ay hindi, hypochondria yung siguradong-sigurado ka na may ganito kang sakit, pero wala naman, feeling mo lang. Kapag sumasakit ang ulo nang dahil sa kakaisip sa script? May tawag diyan e. Arte-arte.

Anak, kung sakaling gusto mong maging direktor balang araw

Anak, kung sakaling gusto mong maging direktor balang araw: Hwag kang gagawa ng pelikula nang wala kang pera nang wala kang ipon nang wala kang kumpyansa nang wala kang alam Hwag kang gagawa ng pelikula nang hindi ka handa nang hindi ka handang masabihang “ang pangit ng ginawa mo”, “di hamak namang mas maganda ang…

relax, it’s just a movie

I can be very unforgiving to myself, so I guess I’m very, very lucky that when I’m having panic attacks on making my fucking first full-length film, I can turn to both my closest friends who’ll tell me “kaya mo yan, tatagan mo lang, matatapos din yan”, “it’s all in your mind, your script’s brilliant”,…

For Ilaya and Awit

Dear Ilaya and Awit, Hello,—do you still use that now—I’m your mother. But I’m writing this in 2011, I’m 27, and you haven’t been born yet. (I was also going to say you haven’t even been conceived yet, but if you’re reading this before you can even spell your receive’s and conceive’s correctly, don’t be…

may nabubuang ba kaka-revise ng script?

Iko-coma ko ba ‘yung bida? Gusto ko ‘yun, kasi challenging, na ilalabas mo yung galing nya gamit lang ang kaunting sequences. Saka naalala mo ‘yung sabi ni Ma’am Laurice na hindi naman ganun ka-endearing ang mukha ni Lilia na masaya siyang tignan sa loob ng 1hr20mins? Kaya baka nga dapat kontian ang mga eksena nya,…

frustrated artist

I stumbled upon a very hip furniture store online called Roomix that gives artistic second lives to ordinary pieces (e.g. pipes turned into a lamp, a briefcase turned into a sofa), and I got really jealous.   A similar personal art project that I’ve conceptualized a year ago but never got to actually do came to mind again. I…

being charlie and gondry

I like my header. It’s a screen grab from one of my favorite films, Being John Malkovich. It was written by the brilliant Charlie Kaufman, who also wrote The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind–it’s one of the most beautiful love stories ever written and made. Well, what else do you get from a Kaufman-written…

puro ka konsepto, puro ka drowing

Aminado naman akong hindi ako marunong magsulat ng script, bukod sa tama nga ang sabi ng isa kong kaibigan, “Puro ko konsepto! Puro ka drowing!”, (minsan nga pala, kaibigan ko rin ang sarili ko), kaya para makasulat na sa wakas, sumali ako sa isang scriptwriting workshop habang kauumpisa pa lang ng bagong taon. Subukan ko…

Dear Mr. Baz Luhrmann

I think you owe me an explanation. I think it was you, sir, who said that it was okay to not know what to do with your life “because the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives” in a “song” addressed to the ladies and…

the universe knows

The Universe did me a huge favor in not making me a finalist for next year’s Cinemalaya. He knew I wasn’t ready yet, that my story was half-baked and my research, not enough. He knew that had he given that to me, it wouldn’t be a great, not even good, first full-length film. It will…