The death of an idea

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This rainy Sunday morning got me thinking about all the film concepts in my head that never saw the light of day, that weren’t given the go signal, that didn’t even reach being written on my laptop. I used to imagine this and that storyline, this and that plot – I may have told you about it, malamang so overly excitedly, because that’s how I always am when an idea pops in my head and I just have to share it – tuwang-tuwa, galak na galak, like it’s the best concept you’ll ever hear (of course, it’s not, haha). Then after thinking about it for weeks, sharing it to more people – that’s when the idea dies. “Ang laki niyan ha.” “Paano kikita yan? Mahal yan!” “Parang hindi pa ready audience sa ganyan.” “Nagawa na yan eh, napanood mo ba yung ano.” Before I know it, I’ve abandoned the idea altogether. I left it for dead – and I’m the one to blame.

Recently, I’ve re-read my old notebooks and Word documents where I wrote my film ideas for “future use.” Some of them as far back as ten years old. I miss those stories, I miss that old self who wouldn’t self-censor and would just write down every film idea as if it can be done someday. I wish I pursued those stories. Ngayon hindi na pwede kasi hindi na napapanahon – at dahil sa internet, ang daming concepts ang namatay dahil ang dami nang plot holes ang nabuhay dahil pwede nang masagot ng internet at cellphone ang lahat ng problema. O dahil nagawa na ng iba. O dahil hindi na ako yun.

Pero baka pwede pang maisalba ang iba. Kailangan lang balikan. Maging mas matapang o mas maparaan.

O i-set na lang sa 2000’s.

“Ay, period? Mahal yun, ‘di ba?”#

One Comment Add yours

  1. Her Satellite says:

    Do you miss independent filmmaking because of this? 🙂
    Hindi na ba kayang buhayin muli? 🙂

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