The Universe did me a huge favor in not making me a finalist for next year’s Cinemalaya. He knew I wasn’t ready yet, that my story was half-baked and my research, not enough. He knew that had he given that to me, it wouldn’t be a great, not even good, first full-length film. It will be just that, another directorial film debut from another filmmaker, and then you hear “yun na yun? kaya ko rin gawin yun” or “sayang lang ang grant, kung si ano na lang sana pinagbigyan nila” as the credits roll, and I can just imagine my heart breaking. The Universe knew I didn’t want that and I wouldn’t be able to handle that, especially if I have to admit that they are right. I had envisioned my first full-length film to be something Alexis will be proud of, that Chard will be proud of, that Ma’am Anne and UPFI will be proud of, that Direk Joyce willl be proud of, that Mama and Papa will be proud of, and that ultimately I will be proud of, even if nobody else was. The Universe knew this isn’t this film.
I didn’t want it badly enough, and the Universe knew, so thank you, Sir, and until the next conspiracy.